Soon you will be reading lots of stories about the 2017 AGMA Fall Technical Meeting and Gear Expo in our magazine and online reports. BUT, the information you really crave will only be found here. Admit it — you like to collect swag at trade shows. Even the most sophisticated trade show attendee will discretely tuck a pen or a trinket in their pocket “for the kids” back home. And much like Halloween candy, some of those trinkets never make it to the youngsters. My children would never put up with such skullduggery when they were kids. Upon my return home I was expected to dump the “goodie bag” onto the kitchen table and let them argue over who got what. One of my favorite “embarrass Samantha” stories is swag-related. I had just returned from the ConAg Show in Las Vegas and the kids had been feuding in my absence. My darling daughter grabbed a stress ball with a globe on it, extended her arm, did a 360 degree twirl, and pointed at her brother while declaring “See, the world does revolve around me!” So, in honor of my wonderful daughter — and as a service to my readers — I walked the aisles of Gear Expo looking for the top swag on offer. As expected there were wonderful pens, notebooks, key chains, flashlights, and candies to be had. There were even more high-tech things like USB sticks and cigarette lighter USB charger adapters. But what kid wants a selfie handle to stick on the back of their cell phone?   No, for the kids back home, or in the office, you have to go for the sweet tooth or just pure entertainment value. My next blog will cover the “podium” finishers in the 2017 Swag of the Show. Thus the runners up in descending order are: Eighth Place —Artec Machine Systems: cell phone credit card pocket (significant others need swag too) Seventh Place —Meritor: Fit-Bit toy Sixth Place —Oelheld: dancing tooth toy Fifth Place —Rave Gear: splined “stress puck” Fourth Place —Mitsubishi Materials: squishy sumo wrestler